The Grey Realms

Days 37-40

(FYI not much plotwise happened so if thats all you care about, dont bother reading this)

Bulwark, Heoff, Lorenzo, Dr. Fred, and myself decided that our loot to adventuring ratio was too low and collectively we decieded to go to a gem mine we had heard rumors about somewhere in the Grey Mountains. After crossing the wilds and a great 10 foot chasm Heoff found the mine with his dwarven nose for ores and the like.

Upon entering the mine we found fortifications had been erected to keep intruders out, and goblins behind said fortifications. We dispatched them with ease. In the next room however the goblins had a height advatage as they were up fairly high on sloping terrain. We battled skullcleavers and assassins as hexers and snipers rained down their feeble attempts at attacks. We dispatched the warriors and Dr. Fred and myself knocked the other goblins off their perch with arrows and shouting respectively. After this fight we rested.

In the next room we found an elevator that dropped us down a level into a pit of goblins and fire constructs, these fire beasts especially the hurlers proved troublesome as they dealt quite alot of damage. We were victorious but Lorenzo came perilously close to death. Dr. Fred did some recon and found a room of Beetles which we soon dispatched leading to more gems for us. Dr. Fred also found a store room and when Heoff opened a crate, a DIRE WEASEL attacked him, Heoff fought valiantly and slew it.

Next we entered another room that contained goblins and fire creatures and there was also a portal to the fire plane which kept spawning more creatures. It was a long battle but we were victorious in the end. There was an elevator in this room as well and we snuck a peek at what was in the next room down, Golems, large ones with runes for lightning inscribed in them. The party decided to head back to town instead of attacking them.

In town Heoff, Lorenzo, and Myself had a contest to see who could get the most tavern wenches, of course the musician won but Lorenzo did beat Heoff and acheive his life long goal. Also in town Heoff became an alchamists apprentice, and Bulwark asked what would happen if he climbed into the sky (he crits the role) and recieves the stairway to heaven acheivement. Next time we are together we shall find a way to either destroy those golems or bend them to our will!

Penned by Delloric Hell-Fate bard extraordinaire

P.S. I played in the tavern and didn’t suck, even got 19 gold, I was psyched.

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Days 33-35

Okay, a lot happened and I will try to get it all but don’t hate me if I forget something just edit.

So the party of Oris, Dr. Niggerbaiter, Delloric, Selena, and Heoff headed off into the Dragon Fang Hills to explore an Ancient Temple that they had heard about long ago. It took about two days but they arrived at the place without getting lost because of their “natural” leader Heoff. The place was pretty dilapidated but was still structurally sound enough to house mushroom men, spiders, and golems that proved to be no match for our strength and skill.

Our explorations turned up nothing spectacular until we had come across a scrying pool. As Heoff jumped in we had discovered it to be a “Hot Tub Time Machine” and we had traveled back several thousand years into the past. We had traveled far enough back in time that that temple was in its prime and still inhabited by people. The place was a Temple devoted to the god Bahamut and was guarded by a legion of elite warriors known as the Dragoons. They were a peaceful group and we managed to learn some things about the Grey Realms past by talking with them. One thing we learned was about an artifact called the Rose of Eternity that was held in the Temple itself. With the some trickery, Oris managed to convince the guards to hide it in a specific spot so that when the party returned to the future, they could claim it for themselves. While talking with them we had learned of a place called Tempus Fugit that flew in the sky. Tempus Fugit, meaning Time Flies (clever Ben and his latin trickery), is the silver city of legend and floats in the sky by the work of powerful mages.

The people of the Temple were mentioning that the people of Tempus Fugit were becoming more and more violent when, speak of the devil, mages and warriors from Tempus Fugit launched a surprise attack on the Temple. We managed to fight several of them off but their were to many of them that we couldn’t defend the Temple. So we fled back to the present day through the scrying pool and explored some more of the area, hoping to find any information on what happened that might have been preserved in a secret library chamber.

Upon entering the library, we had come across a mage examining the tomes. He teleported himself back to the to past to avoid a conflict and so Delloric and Heoff followed him by using the scrying pool and attacked him in the past. As the mage traveled back and forth from past to present, we took turns beating up on him until he finally laid dead. What this mage was looking for we don’t know but what we do know is that he is from the Tempus Fugit. After this fight we deemed it time to return to Weyward and heal up.

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Days 27 - 31
Since Nobody Else Seems Interested in Cleaning up the Notes

If you want to add something that I missed, feel free to add it.

(Written by the Omnipotent Narrator, aka the DM)

After spending most of the past two weeks hammered in the bar, Dr. Fred Niggerbaiterand Heoff the Betrayer decided to get off their bums and venture back into the Grey Realms and reclaim some glory their companions had taken. They were joined by the Dragonborn paladin Nala, as well as two new able-bodied adventurers; Richard, the sadistic Githyanki wizard, and Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, the ultra-sexy paladin. Unfortunately, Vincent Vega was unable to find the hospital he was looking for and decided to retire early.

The group was approached by the young priestess Phoebe from the local Temple of Erathis. She implored that our band of heroes find her fiancee Matthew, who had unexpectedly ventured out into the Grey Realms in hopes of following a band of knights that had recently traveled through the region… or at least find whatever’s left of the poor boy. Nala vauguely recalled that The Guardian told them of a similar band of knights passing through the Bell Tree Grove, so she suggested that they begin their search there. After grabbing a few extra magic items from Brett Hayvard and twinking out Richard with a neat-o staff (that he never actually used), the heroes bounded off into the forest.

After delegating Richard to map duty, regretting it, and passing the role of cartographer to Dr. Niggerbaiter, the party finally found the Bell Tree Grove, which seemed to have grown since last time. The Guardian, pleased to see his new homeys, informed the party that such a band of knights passed through no more than two months ago, and they headed west, to the river. The Guardian suspected they went to find the old Smuggler’s Cave. The party spends the night in the Grove (except for Lorenzo, who after insulting the Guardian with his sexiness was forced to sleep outside).

The next morning the team headed west in search of the cave. On the way, the impossible happened, and they stumbled across…BIGFOOT! However, the party was unable to reach an agreement as to what to do with the Sasquattch, and before they could do anything, the beast lumbered away into the woods. To this day, nobody at the bar believes Heoff when he tells them that he saw Bigfoot. A little further in the forest and the team came across a huge river. On the other side is the Smuggler’s Cave…but there was no obvious way across. Dr. Niggerbaiter swam across, as did Heoff, with Richard on his back. However, the two armored paladins, Nala and Lorenzo, were forced to use tricky hijinks that involved a log, clever use of Richard’s teleport spell, and a two mile ride down river. After much todo about nothing, the party finally decended into the cave.

After entering the cave, the party decided, instead of taking the large tunnel, to take the long and narrow option (TWSS). The tunnel promptly collapsed, nearly flattening poor Richard, which gave our intrepid adventurers no choice but to delve deeper into the dark. They soon came across a small nest of spiders. After dispatching them with liberal use of fire and ghost sound, the team went deeper into the spider nest, only to find a very angry Blade Spider. One round of combat later, they all ran away like pussies. This of course prompted Heoff to wonder, “So, were the smugglers smuggling spiders, or did the spiders just live here and they were all chill with that?” Nobody knows to this day.

Leaving the nest of spiders for later, the team ventured down the other path in the tunnel, and found a pit full of fire beetles and rats. Heoff and Lorenzo bravely leapt into the pit and, back to back, held the line nearly surrounded by rats and beetles while Dr. Niggerbaiter sniped them from the other freaking room. The team sustained heavy damage from the fire beetles’ fire breath attack, so only after an extened rest did the team press onward. The next encounter marked the first time the party encountered the Myconids; a race of sapient, mushroom monsters. They came in several varieties; the fat ones could wade into melee combat with their fat arms and pummel their foes, the violet ones were rooted into the ground but had long tentacles that could paralyze their foes, and the breed with the large caps (dubbed Deathcaps) would charge suicidely into the fray, exploding into a damaging cloud upon death. They proved to be little match for our heroes. However, the next encounter with Deathcaps was nearly fatal, as a preemptive charge by the myconids followed by a friendly-fire fire beetle bombardment set off a chain of Deathcap explosions that nearly felled the party. But they hung in there like pros and won the fight.

Deep in the cave, the party stumbled across the dead body of one of the knights they had been following. On him, they discovered a journal written by Sir Jorwan, who was assumed to be the dead knight. While missing several pages, the journal shed some light on the knight’s quest. The knights, lead by Sir Marrion, were apparently in search of Chardaius, whatever that was. There seemed to be a power-struggle in the group between Sir Marrion and someone named Lillian.There also seemed to be a bard with the group who was unaffiliated with the knights and appeared to be an unsavory character. It also appears that the knights were following a map that lead them to Smuggler’s Cave. The last entry detailed how Sir Jorwan was poisoned by a spider, and low on supplies, the company was forced to leave him in the cave. The last entry read, “Sir Marrion was right. Chardaius was a fool’s quest.” Taking the journal, the party continued deeper into the cave.

Near an underground river, the team encountered a fortified party of Urisk awaiting them. Cleaver tactics and liberal face smashing proved to be the winning strategy, though two shamans escaped deeper into the cave. Rather than chase them, the team took a seperate path which lead up, hoping to find some treasure, or maybe Mattiew’s remains.

Instead, they found more Myconids. Intially, the fight seemed too easy…until one of Dr. Niggerbaiter’s arrows was stopped in mid-flight in the middle of the room. The true threat was not revealed until Nala set the gelatinous cube in front of her on fire with her fire breath, revealing it to everybody. The ensuing fight was perilous; the myconids impeaded the movement of the heroes, which then allowed the gelatinous cube to absord them into its acidic body. There, Richard spent most of the fight slowly melting to death, while other party members were able to get stuck and un-stuck without too many problems. The fight looked like it might go sour, until Dr. Niggerbaiter bravely put his life on the line, taking opportunity attacks from the myconids that nearly felled him to put the killing shot into the gelatinous cube’s slimy core, saving Richard from dissolving into Wizard Jelly. For his bravery in using such a high-powered attack while in close-quaters-combat with other enemies, Dr. Niggerbaiter earned the “Isn’t This Danger Close?” Achievement. The rest of the myconids were promptly cleaned up, ending the threat.

In a small side room, the teamwas able to loot what used to be the smuggler’s cache, helping themselves to a few nice magic items. A dusty, decayed, ancient ledger left behind by the smugglers revealed little, but the last lines, “fire….death….we’re leaving now” proved interesting. After discovering that the racket caused by their fight with the gelatinous cube had caused a cave-in in the roof of the connecting tunnel, the party decided to exit and head back to Weyward to heal up and rest, rather than press their luck any further in the cave. During the respite, Heoff learned how to read basic English, so go him. Though their quest for Phoebe was unfinished, Nala, Heoff, Lorenzo, Richard, and Dr. Niggerbaiter vowed to return to the cave and finish the job on a later date.

Plus, they still have to kill that Blade Spider.

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Days 14-20

As told by Oris in the Kingmaker’s Tavern:

The party of our last adventure, myself, Delloric, Bulwark, Sophia, and Selena had picked up a new member named Vincent Vega, a Longtooth Cleric in search of treasure. Off we went to the Kobold Camp to continue are quest to save Weyward from the threat of Kobold attacks. We couldn’t reach the fortress by nightfall and so the party decided to camp out in a grove of pink trees they found. The grove had some sort of magic and lulled us to sleep as Bulwark, ever vigilant, kept watch. We came upon a strange elf the next morning. Although he did not give us his name, he claimed to be the Guardian of this grove, protecting it from the Urisks and Kobolds in their power struggle for dominion of the forest. We told him that we would solve this problem for him but he merely insults our abilities as fighters. Of course this only strengthened our resolve to end the threat and so off we went on the rest of our journey to the Kobold’s fortress. Shortly after exiting the Grove, we came upon a camp of Urisks which took kindly to the sight of Bulwark’s Kobold skulls. We come to an agreement that we will help them fight the Kobolds since this was our original goal.

Before reaching the Kobold’s fortress we came across a large hallowed out tree. When we entered we were attacked by huge spiders, each one the size of a man. We managed to slay the horde but the battle took it’s toll. Many of us were injured and Sophia lay dead on the ground. We decided it would be best to attack the Kobold fortress at our prime and so we returned to town to heal up. At town we managed to recruit a new member, Nala the Dragonborn Paladin.

Healed and resupplied, we entered the Grey Realms again. When we managed to reach the Kobold fortress, we decided to speak with the Kobold leader in order to gain favor from both the Kobolds and the Urisks. We manage to gain the trust of the Kobolds and so together we hatched a plan that would solve the Kobold and Urisks problem once and for all by making them fight each other.

We told the Kobolds that we would lure out the Guardian so that they Kobold forces could take him out with our help, leaving the Grove defenseless so that the Kobolds could seize it. After we left the Kobold fortress, we traveled back to the Urisk encampment and told them that we had managed to lure the Kobolds out of their fortress, making it easy for the Urisks to kill them. They believe us and all the pieces of our plan were complete. Once all was set, we told the Guardian of our success who was so pleased by our ingeniousness that he was honored to join us in picking off the remnants of the fight.

We picked the battle ground and Selena let off a flare into the sky. The signal was sent and both armies mobilized towards the fighting ground. We stayed in the background, watching as the Kobolds and Urisks eliminated each other. We picked off the remaining Kobolds with ease and thus we were victorious in saving the Grove, and saving you all (Weyward) from the their attacks.

We then proceed to loot the Kobold fortress because as the saying goes, “to the victor goes the spoils,” and earned our just reward for our work. We decided to investigated the hollowed out tree again since we had gone stronger but the spiders will still too much for us to take at the moment. Don’t get me wrong though; we still managed to slay them all, for we are mightier than any spider no matter how large. And thus ended our amazing and fantastic adventures. Any donations for saving Weyward will be appreciated, a portion of which will go towards the Raven Queen Memorial fund.

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Days 9-11

Day 9

Our three tested adventurers, Delloric Hell-Fate (thats me!), Oris, and Bulwark of the Many Skulls set out with two newbies Sophia “the throat slitter” Lamb, an elvish rogue, and Selena an elvish cleric, to the cleverly named One Tree Tower. Under darkened skies and heavy rain Selena lead the party through the Bell-Tree Forest, yet because of the rain the party decieded to make camp before reaching their destination. In the night they were awoken by Bulwark who announced that they were under attack. It turns out that they were indeed surrounded by feral hobbits the companions proceed to dispatch them, and I never left the tree I had slept in. The newbies proved to be fairly worthy.

Day 10

By daybreak it becomes clear that Selena has lead the party astray, Oris climbs a tree and points the party in the right direction again. The soon reach One tree tower under a much lighter but still persistant rain. The party enters the first floor of the tower and are meet by more feral hobbits called Urisk, who have fortified their lobby against invaders. Bulwark proceeds to force two bowman hiding behind an upright table against the wall, pinning them there with said table, and all the rest except a shaman are killed. The shaman at the request of Selena is questioned, when no answers were forthcoming she was tortured by myself and Bulwark and eventually killed by Sophia. The second floor of the tower proved more of a challenged and everyone except myself and Oris were knocked unconscious at one point or the other. We eventually overcame our battle but decided to rest on the top floor before moving to the basement.

Day 11

We entered the basement, Sophia bravely (foolishly) ran straight into the room filled with heavily fortified enemies, and Bulwark proceeded to break through a stone wall crushing the enemy behind it and making a very large hole, this earned him the “Ooh Yeah” acheivement. Shamans proved to be troublesome by dazing everyone. The battle dragged on but we came out victorious with scars to tell of the day. We entered a hallway that was infested with rats, I attempted to “Pied Piper” them but they just dont appreciate the “Rock and Roll”. We dispatched them but the swarm of rats proved a difficult foe to slay. We finally came to the main room of the basement and met the rat king, who proceeded to thank us for riding his tower of Urisk, and he promised us a grand reward, we were to be sacrificed to his god! We said thanks but no thanks in the nicest way possible by having Oris seperate his skull after Bulwark and Selena beat him to a bloody pulp. We then dealt with the reamaining rats including two more swarms and grabbed our loot. Magic items all around. We then triumphantly returned to town, me strumming my lute, Oris adjusting his fedora, and the rest limping into the doctors office for healing.

Penned by Delloric Hell-Fate; Bard Extraordinaire

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In The Beginning...

Day One,

Our adventurers’ tale begins as most do, in the local bar. It was a motley group of adventurers: Dr. Niggerbaiter the Half-Orc Ranger, Oris the Deva Avenger, Delloric Hellfate the Half-Elf Bard, Bulwark The Outcast a Warforged Fighter, and finally, Heoff the Hungerer, a Dwarven Barbarian. Although they have come to the Grey Realms for various reasons, they chose to travel together, all of them seeking fame and fortune. And this, is their first adventure.

Hearing rumors of Kobolds training Drakes in nest to the northwest of Weyward, they take their first steps through the Dragon Fang Hills. They reach the nest without difficulties and plan how best to approach the cave. Several of the members suggest the party hides in a pile of drake manure at the entrance to the cave and lure the kobolds out into an ambush. However Oris, elegant spirit that he is replies, “I am NOT hiding in Drake shit!” and proceeds to run straight into the cavern. This of course alerts the Kobolds of their presence and Oris takes a lot of damage. Thankfully the rest of the party came to combat the Kobolds. Although they stand victorious after their first encounter, they have much more difficult tasks ahead of them. They eventually come across the Drakes that inhabit the nest which proved to be more difficult than the Kobolds. This however does not stop our mighty heroes as the push deeper into the cave. Ironically, the swarm of baby drakes proved to be the most trouble towards the party; knocking them down and nibbling on their bodies. Along the way they also came across a strange beetle of an unknown species. It eats gems in the earth and absorbs them into their skin, endowing them with slight elemental properties. They called it a Gem Beetle and kept a carcass for further study.

Many wounds are received as the party travels deeper, fighting off a variety Kobolds and Drakes. Several characters are revived from consciousness with fractured skulls and broken legs. Forced to return to town to lick heal their injuries, the party gives up adventuring for the day. They made it back to the town during the night avoiding a near Dragon encounter that flew overhead to the north east.

Day Two,

Taking the Gem Beetle’s corpse to the local smith, he informs the party that he is able inlay the gems in the creatures hide into their armor, granting them special resistances to certain elements.

After resting up and resupplying, the party returns to the nest to finish off what they had started. The second day proved to be in the parties favor as they pulled of tremendous feats in the middle of battle. Heoff slays a Guard Drake and then action points to charge and slay another enemy, killing two enemies in one round turn. Not to be outdone, Oris uses his Shared Madness technique to kill two enemies simultaneously, unlocking the achievement “Two Drakes, One Cup(25)”. Heoff charges a stone wall, climbing up ten feet and cleaves a Drake with his great axe in one fluid motion while Delloric shatters Gem Beetles with the sound waves from his magic imbued lute, granting him the achievement “Activating Star Power (30)”.

Finally reaching the end of the cave, the party encounters the large Rage Drake. Although he seemed powerful at first, it was no match for the party. Dr. Niggerbaiter used his well trained eye and powerful great bow to shoot arrows into the soft throat of the Drake. As blood flowed from the mortal wound, the Drake entered a blind rage, becoming even more dangerous for the party. This however did not stop Bulwark as he jumped onto the back of the Drake and cut him right down the middle from head to tail. After this amazing show of strength, he preceded to be mauled into unconsciousness by the infamous swarm of Baby Drakes. However once the rest of the enemies were defeated, their quest was complete, they had saved Weyward from the impending Kobold cavalry attack. Amongst the cave the party found a couple magical items. A Pan Pipe that could lull enemies into a state of unawareness and a kerchief granting attack bonuses to whoever wore it. Both of these items were taken by Dr. Niggerbaiter. Although it was not in the most stunning fashion, the party exceeded the expectations of the people and defeated their first threat.

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